True and funny stories from the lighter side of raising my sons and daughter. As the Southern mama of this crew, I'm usually somewhere between "Bless your hearts!" and "Y'all act like you got some sense!" If we ever need to find our way home, we just follow the trail of red clay and glitter.
Followers
Sunday, December 29, 2019
Slip
So I am cracking up while watching a whole bunch of DVR'd holiday romance movies I didn't get to before Christmas (though I don't know HOW that is possible since I watched Hallmark 24/7 this month!). Anyway, there is always a moment in the movie where the guy and girl (who don't like each other at first) end up liking each other and then, by chance, the girl happens to fall or slip or something during a walk and the guy falls down on top of her for this long awkward moment. I feel like I'm missing out because in 23 years, this has NEVER happened to me and Skeet! HOW can that be??! I thought about orchestrating a "faux slip" magical moment when he gets back home, but I'm pretty sure at this point we'd break a hip or not be able to get back up!!!! Hahahahaaa!
Mistake
"What a nice surprise," I thought when my cell phone rang and the caller ID showed it was Brandon Taylor, who is in Orlando at a baseball tournament.
"Hey Bran!! So glad you called! 😄" I gushed.
"Hello? Hello? Mom? Is this Mom? Oh. Sorry. I didn't mean to call you."
Nice.
"Hey Bran!! So glad you called! 😄" I gushed.
"Hello? Hello? Mom? Is this Mom? Oh. Sorry. I didn't mean to call you."
Nice.
Fire Alarm
Life with a 15 year old son .... Skeet and I leaping out of bed at 1 AM to the fire alarm screaming and the smell of smoke. Run downstairs to see Dylan standing guiltily over a smoking pan of burned scrambled eggs. Without blinking an eye he says, “Buddy did it.” Nice try!! I told him that the next time he needs a middle of the night snack, it should be a PBJ. 😮😂
Sunday, December 22, 2019
Nativity
(2015) Tonight I was reading several stories to Dylan and Lily, one of which was a book about the nativity. Dylan was super disappointed that it wasn't a "scratch and sniff" book ... WHY we would want to scratch and sniff a donkey, I just don't know!!!!
Saturday, December 21, 2019
God Bless Us
As you know, my fourth graders did a book study of Charles Dickens’ A Christmas Carol during December in our reading class. Today one of my little boys was getting checked out after the holiday party, and we gave our hugs and goodbyes and he ran out the door to go home. A few seconds later he reappeared in my doorway, and in his loudest, happiest voice he yelled to the class, “And hey ... God bless us everyone!” Completely made my day! ❤️❤️❤️
Tuesday, December 3, 2019
Slurping
(2016) There is no denying the Lily is my child! I bought her a drink at QT on the way to get groceries and heard all this loud slurping in the back seat. I turned around and asked her what in the world she was doing! She said,"I'm just slurping along with the music." Sure enough, when I listened, she was perfectly slurping along on beat with The First Noel! Oh dear.
Sweet Tea
(2017) A direct quote from my 14-year-old son tonight: "Mom ... all I want for Christmas is a mini-fridge for my room ... full of sweet tea." Yep, he's a Southern boy.
Wednesday, November 27, 2019
We The People
Something hilarious happened tonight when we were at Mah Jong Chinese restaurant. At the end of the meal my father-in-law made a joke with the young waiter about there being a shortage of turkeys this Thanksgiving because they were all running for president. 😂 The young waiter laughed and said that he didn’t want a turkey to be president because the president rules over all of us. Of course, I HAD to chime in saying he needed a small lesson in US government, because “we the people” run the government, no one “rules over us” here in America! We are a DEMOCRACY (democratic republic) and the PEOPLE have the final say! I literally almost broke out singing The Preamble song from Schoolhouse Rock, I was so inspired!😂😂😂 Of course, Lily was dying during the whole minilesson and when we left the restaurant and stepped one foot out the door she said, “And THAT is why you don’t take a social studies teacher to a Chinese restaurant!!!!” We both then completely cracked up!!!! #teacherkidproblems #can’ttakemomanywhere 😂😂😂
Sunday, November 24, 2019
Christmas Movies
I just feel the need to say that I hate any Christmas movie that (A) has the same day repeating itself over and over again until the character learns some lesson and changes his ways, (B) stars Meredith Baxter Bernie, or (C) involves any type of storyline where someone is sick or dying and the whole town rallies to give them one last tear-jerking holiday. All I want is complete, total, 100% predictable, happy fluff for the holidays! NO REALITY, PLEASE! I know I can always count on you, Hallmark Channel.
Memory
(2012) Made a priceless memory today when I went over to help Mom decorate the tables for Thanksgiving ... Lily Claire and Grammie were two peas in a pod mixing and stirring and baking together in the kitchen. Grammie had lots and lots of "help"! I think Lily licked more of the frosting than she put on the cake and I don't think Grammie stopped laughing! It was so much fun watching the two of them together! Today and EVERY day, I am so thankful for our "Grammie and Papaw."
Sleeve
(2016) Nothing like having your 17 year old son wake you up on vacation to show you all his plans and ideas for the "sleeve tattoo" he is NOT getting. I told him he could choose food or a tattoo. :) Every day is an adventure around here.
Friday, November 15, 2019
Torture
(2016) Hahahahahaaa! It is so fun to torture teenagers!! Bran was laying on the couch and the old version of Footloose was on TV. I kept walking through the room singing ALL the songs, culminating with a very dramatic rendition of "Almost Paradise." For some reason, he DIDN'T enjoy my singing, so he changed the channel! With a stroke of good luck, the next channel had on the old "Karate Kid" so I was able to continue with a bunch of Mr. Miyagi advice. Not sure why Bran left and went upstairs ... :) I'm STILL laughing!!
Wednesday, November 13, 2019
Hot Rod
(2017) This memory made me laugh out loud ... Brandon Taylor
My friends have always told me that God was laughing when he sent me two rowdy boys, being the "girlie girl" that I am and after growing up in an all female household (other than Papaw, of course)! That was proven yet again this weekend! Bran has been driving on a spare tire for several weeks and he brought his red Mustang home for the weekend to get it fixed. I graciously offered to take the car up to the DREADED Discount Tires to get it fixed while Bran helped his dad in the backyard. FIRST of all, I needed a hazmat suit to even get IN the car ... there was about three weeks of dirty laundry thrown in the backseat and the floors and trunk, not to mention all the old Gatorade bottles, baseball tape and bats, dirty cleats, and empty fast food bags! And, the zillion old, black Christmas tree air fresheners hanging from the rear view mirror were doing absolutely nothing for the air quality in the car, to say the least, except making me gag! THEN, as I drove up the street, I realized that there was some long, black wire hanging on my foot to make the floors glow a bright red color and that Bran had done something to the muffler so it was making this SUPER LOUD ROARING sound whenever you pushed the accelerator! Good grief. I then made a quick detour into the Kroger shopping center to get my nails done and buy flowers for the kitchen, and as I am trying to quietly pull out of the parking spot with my cute pink nails and tulips, the car ROARS super loud again and some man in a flannel shirt and white beard standing on the sidewalk screams "YEAH!!!" and gives me a big thumbs up at the roaring sound!! Seriously?! Not to mention the stickers all over the back with deer heads and hunting rifles and a "Don't Tread on Me" warning! And, of course, Discount Tires couldn't get a tire for the car until today, so Bran has MY car at Emmanuel, and I had to take his to Mulberry today, where I proceeded to peel out of the elementary school parking lot in my turkey earrings and unicorn slippers with a HUGE Indy 500 roaring, thundering boom! Can I please get my car back now? Pretty sure this is the LAST time I graciously offer to take Bran's "hot rod" ANYWHERE!
My friends have always told me that God was laughing when he sent me two rowdy boys, being the "girlie girl" that I am and after growing up in an all female household (other than Papaw, of course)! That was proven yet again this weekend! Bran has been driving on a spare tire for several weeks and he brought his red Mustang home for the weekend to get it fixed. I graciously offered to take the car up to the DREADED Discount Tires to get it fixed while Bran helped his dad in the backyard. FIRST of all, I needed a hazmat suit to even get IN the car ... there was about three weeks of dirty laundry thrown in the backseat and the floors and trunk, not to mention all the old Gatorade bottles, baseball tape and bats, dirty cleats, and empty fast food bags! And, the zillion old, black Christmas tree air fresheners hanging from the rear view mirror were doing absolutely nothing for the air quality in the car, to say the least, except making me gag! THEN, as I drove up the street, I realized that there was some long, black wire hanging on my foot to make the floors glow a bright red color and that Bran had done something to the muffler so it was making this SUPER LOUD ROARING sound whenever you pushed the accelerator! Good grief. I then made a quick detour into the Kroger shopping center to get my nails done and buy flowers for the kitchen, and as I am trying to quietly pull out of the parking spot with my cute pink nails and tulips, the car ROARS super loud again and some man in a flannel shirt and white beard standing on the sidewalk screams "YEAH!!!" and gives me a big thumbs up at the roaring sound!! Seriously?! Not to mention the stickers all over the back with deer heads and hunting rifles and a "Don't Tread on Me" warning! And, of course, Discount Tires couldn't get a tire for the car until today, so Bran has MY car at Emmanuel, and I had to take his to Mulberry today, where I proceeded to peel out of the elementary school parking lot in my turkey earrings and unicorn slippers with a HUGE Indy 500 roaring, thundering boom! Can I please get my car back now? Pretty sure this is the LAST time I graciously offer to take Bran's "hot rod" ANYWHERE!
Hero
How to be a hero in two easy steps...
1. Receive a text that says “I’m starving” from your 15 -year-old son who is on the school bus heading home.
2. Make a giant family size pot of Kraft macaroni and cheese just for him.
VOILA!! Instant hero!!! 😂😂😂
1. Receive a text that says “I’m starving” from your 15 -year-old son who is on the school bus heading home.
2. Make a giant family size pot of Kraft macaroni and cheese just for him.
VOILA!! Instant hero!!! 😂😂😂
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