You might teach third graders if ...You can’t find the Scotch tape on your desk and two of your little girls pipe up and say, “Oh we have it, Mrs. Taylor. We were just using it to wax our eyebrows!” Really?! 😂😂😂 #neveradullmoment
True and funny stories from the lighter side of raising my sons and daughter. As the Southern mama of this crew, I'm usually somewhere between "Bless your hearts!" and "Y'all act like you got some sense!" If we ever need to find our way home, we just follow the trail of red clay and glitter.
Followers
Friday, April 29, 2022
Sunday, April 24, 2022
Broadway
(2014) PROUD PROUD parent moment ... Dylan has a part in the 5th grade school musical. He is CAMPER ITCH-ALOT and apparently he has to "scratch alot". His one line is, "The mosquitoes are eating me alive!" Watch out BROADWAY ... I'm sure he will be discovered with this amazing break-out role!!
Baby Book
(2013) I pulled out Brandon's baby book of pictures to show him tonight and Lily rushed over and said, "Ooooo ... I want to look at Bran's remem-bories"!
Saturday, April 23, 2022
Skeleton
(2011) Life with Dylan: This morning we were talking about Easter and I said, "Jesus died for us then rose from the grave three days later!" Dylan: "Cool! So Jesus is a skeleton now?" Sigh. "No Dyl, Jesus is not a skeleton!"
Sweetest
(2015) I have the sweetest husband in the world ... he's worked all day then helped with the Varsity team dinner then coached Dylan's baseball game until 10:00, and now he's stopping at the store to buy 60 Popsicles for my students tomorrow because I forgot to get them on the way home. He comes through for me every single day, even when he's super tired.
Thursday, April 21, 2022
Book
(2011) I gave Lily a new Berenstain Bears book this morning and she gasped real big and said, "Wow! This is my most favoritest book I never seen!"
Wednesday, April 20, 2022
NeHi & Boiled Peanuts
Nehi Peach and boiled peanuts. ♥️♥️ Takes me back to our dating days when Skeet and I stopped along the roadside in the mountains to buy boiled peanuts. He told me I was the only girl he’d ever met who liked boiled peanuts, and I told him he obviously hadn’t been meeting the right girls! 😂 Pretty sure those boiled peanuts are how this Georgia girl captured the heart of one very handsome Georgia boy. ❤️
Tuesday, April 19, 2022
Ragamuffin
(2011) Whenever Lily Claire has been outside playing and she looks a mess, I tell her she looks like a little "rag-a-muffin." Today she had a checkup at the doctor and I told her we needed to brush her hair, to which she replie, "Why? Am I a "mag -a -ruffin?"
Literature
(2016) Helping Bran with a paper for his British Lit class tonight that is about how the Victorian ideals of the time were portrayed in Dickens' Oliver Twist and how he used the novel to attack the Poor Laws of the time, etc. I am all enthused and loving every second of it and remembering how much I LOVE everything about this time period and topic. Meanwhile, Bran is miserable writing this paper and says to me,"Seriously ... This is completely useless and and no normal person cares about a bunch of poems that make no sense and all these long, confusing stories ....What kind of weird person would go to college and get a whole degree in this stuff!!?" Long awkward pause. "Um. That would be me, son." Nice backpedalling, Bran. Yes, he is definitely his father's son.
Saturday, April 16, 2022
Best Friend
(2010) Lily Claire's teacher told me today that her little two year old classmates were on the floor at circle time and each child in the class was telling about his/her "best friend." The other kids were naming children in the class as their best friends, but when they got to Lily Claire and asked her who was her best friend, she said "Mama" ... you KNOW I loved that!!!!!!
13
(2011)Brandon had a GREAT 13th birthday, though I think he fully expected to wake up on that day with a full mustache and a drivers license. Sorry buddy ... Give it a few more years!
Thursday, April 14, 2022
Cow
(2015) Bran was recounting to me a recent dinner he had at an Italian restaurant. He said the waitress came and asked him if he wanted a Caesar salad or mixed greens. He said he knew he didn't like Caesar so he order the mixed greens, not really knowing what it was. He said in shock, "Mom, when they brought the salad, the leaves were ALL PURPLE!!!! And then I asked for ranch dressing and they said the dressing was already on it and I couldn't see ANYTHING. I felt like I was eating grass, like some cow, but I didn't want to say anything and seem rude." CRACKED me up!!!
Basketball
(2015) I am the WORST basketball mom EVER. I hate EVERYTHING about it. The uniforms are ugly, the balls thud and echo nonstop, the middle school gym stinks like old sweat socks, we are sitting on the dirty gym floor, balls keep hitting us from all the kids playing around on the sidelines, the buzzer blares in my ears and startles me every single time, the constant ref whistles are shrill and nerve racking, babies are crying, the super enthused mom sitting next to me is screaming "Defense" in a piercing pitch a dog could hear, the coaches are bellowing "Hands Up" over and over like it's an armed robbery, and if the dad with anger issues next to me shouts,"Make it happen" or "Pass the ball" one more time, I may just lose it. Did I mention I absolutely HATE it here?? But ... I happen to love one of the players, so here I sit, smiling at Dylan like this is the best place on earth! Football and baseball I can do, but I'm pretty sure there is a level of hell called "Middle School Rec Basketball," and believe me, that's enough to keep me saved from now to eternity.
Shoes
I noticed that Dylan's tennis shoes were full of holes and completely raggedy, so I threw them away, thinking, "Gosh, this poor kid. We'll get him a nice, new pair this weekend." The next morning, while rushing to get to school because I had a parent conference waiting, Dylan was in a panic because he couldn't find his shoes. I told him to wear another pair because I had thrown away the other ones. Well, of COURSE, he went nuts, saying they were his all- time favorite shoes, etc, etc. I caved, and said in frustration, "Well get them out of the trash for today, but hurry up!!! We are going to be late!!!" Dylan fished them out of the trash and when I walked in the kitchen, he was hobbling all over the kitchen shouting in distress, "Mom! Something is all over my favorite shoes!" I turn and see that his shoes are COVERED and dripping with spaghetti sauce!!? What on earth??! Turns out, UNBEKNOWNST to me, Bran had come down in the middle of the night and made himself a big bowl of noodles with spaghetti sauce and thrown out the leftovers in the very same trash can ... all over Dylan's "sacred" shoes. So, I did what any great mother would do. I screamed, "BRING THEM TO ME!" I turned on the kitchen faucet , slopped water all over them, and handed them back to Dylan dripping wet saying, "Put them on FAST and get in the car!!! We are going to be late!!!" What a lucky kid. He arrived at school that day with shoes not only full of holes, but now stained with spaghetti sauce, smelling like tomatoes, AND squeaking and dripping wet So glad I made the whole shoe situation so much better for him. Today is definitely NOT the day to walk a mile in Dylan's shoes!
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Lily informed me that she will NEVER kiss anyone NOT in our family because if you go on a date, it's a complete stranger and he could ha...
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Having a mom for a teacher often means drinking "Dr Thunder" instead of "Dr Pepper", eating "Whales" instead ...